


our lives don't collide, i'm aware of this.

by devilvibes



Series: beginning of the end. [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel Kuroo Tetsurou, Angst, Boys Kissing, Crying Kozume Kenma, Demon Kozume Kenma, Fluff and Angst, Heaven & Hell, Hurt Kozume Kenma, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Rough Kissing, flirty kuroo, glass breaking, help i promise the next ones will be better, kenma declaring his love for kuroo, kuroo is thinking about sinning, kuroo lying about his identity, shouting, they're whipped for one another, what else do i write here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilvibes/pseuds/devilvibes
Summary: For thousands of years after war broke out in heaven, Kozume Kenma and Kuroo Tetsurou have not yet moved on from one another.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: beginning of the end. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997200
Kudos: 38





	our lives don't collide, i'm aware of this.

When Kuroo and Kenma first met each other in heaven as angels, Kenma had a lot of judgments to say about Kuroo. 

“Kuroo sounds boring, I wanna call you Mr. Bedhead.” Those were the first words which Kenma told Kuroo, lazily staring at the black-haired angel’s spiky hair as he blurted out the words. Kenma continued to voice out his other comments about Kuroo—like how his booming voice was quite deafening, how talkative he was for a stranger, how adventurous he was that he might die someday, and more. He kept going on until Kuroo looked like he was about to cry.

“Then… Then if you get to call me Mr. Bedhead, I’ll call you Pudding-head because you look like one!” There were tears on the corner of young Kuroo’s eyes. If Yaku saw that he was about to cry in front of Kenma, he would, for sure, join Kenma and tease him until he cries.

Kenma didn’t mind being called Pudding-head; it was only fair because he got to call Kuroo the nickname he wanted to call him. After their first meeting, a fruitful friendship blossomed between the two of them.

-

Needless to say, Kuroo and Kenma grew up with one another. They watched each other change and develop both personality-wise and appearance-wise. They were still quite the opposite, however, as Kenma preferred to stay indoors and refused to socialize, meanwhile Kuroo liked to drag other angels around to explore the beauty of the Garden of Eden and make friends with other angels as well as the animals who resided in the garden. Kenma soon fell victim and became the angel whom Kuroo dragged around regularly, disregarding the presence of other angels. Despite being opposites, though, they enjoyed each other’s company.

It didn’t take long for Kuroo to develop feelings for Kenma. He found himself clinging onto him every time. He couldn’t survive a day without talking to him. Every time he’d restrain himself from talking to Kenma, he found himself crying over how much he misses him that day, and would end up telling him that he missed him. He cared a lot for Kenma. He made sure that he was able to stay healthy, made sure that he was always safe, and made sure that he was always happy. That’s everything he wanted for him. He loved him. He didn’t care if he reciprocated his feelings or not.

-

Under the moonlight, Kuroo and Kenma snuggled. They didn’t care if their wings got dirty, or if their white clothes got stained. With their supernatural powers in their angelic forms, it would be easy to clean them. They were facing one another, although Kenma was leveled with Kuroo in such a way that it was perfect for Kuroo to give him a forehead kiss.

The moonlight lit up a part of Kuroo’s face, and Kenma thought that the combination of the lighting and Kuroo’s looks was utterly beautiful.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Kenma looked at the moon. Kuroo hummed in response, yet his eyes were stuck on to Kenma, who only sighed when he caught him staring at him. “You’re not even looking at the moon.”

“Yeah, because I prefer looking at you—”

“Then what’s the point of dragging me here if you’ll just look at me?!”

After the atmosphere fell silent, Kenma moved closer to Kuroo and looked at him in the eyes, “Promise me that you’ll stay by my side, Bedhead? No matter what happens, we’ll always be together, through thick and thin…” he lifted his pinky finger in front of Kuroo’s face, who intertwined his pinky finger with Kenma’s. He chuckled at the difference in their hand size. He thought it was cute.

“I promise you that.” he planted a kiss on his forehead. “Forever and always, by your side.”

Kenma’s cheeks heated up. He felt his heart flutter and butterflies flying in his stomach as Kuroo kissed his forehead. He didn’t know if it was normal to feel this way. He didn’t know what he was currently feeling.

-

When the war broke out in heaven, many angels lost their lives. God’s army won at the end of the day. As punishment, the angels who disobeyed God and those who participated in the rebellion were casted into hell, and were given minor punishments along with it, depending on how grave their sins were.

Unfortunately, Kenma was one of the angels God decided to cast into hell. Without any explanation, he was pushed into the gates of hell in the middle of the war. He was slowly eaten up by the flames. He kept screaming out of pain.

“Kuroo!” Kenma cried aloud. “Kuroo, I love you!”

That was the first and last time Kuroo heard Kenma declare his love for him.

As Kuroo ran to pull Kenma away from the abyss, the gates immediately closed and shut Kuroo out. He let out a loud cry of Kenma’s name as he fell to his knees and began to cry his heart out. He questioned God about what Kenma had done, but He never answered his questions. He had begged for Him to let Kenma escape hell, but to no avail, God never accepted his pleas.

It was painful. For the both of them. It broke them.

For thousands of years, Kenma had to endure the scorching flames of hell, which he got used to soon. His skin burned and melted, he even had to grow his own two horns to symbolize that he, in fact, was a demon. He’d look at himself with disgust every time he sees his reflection. He didn’t know what he had done in order to be punished like that.

As another punishment, Kenma’s memories of how Kuroo looked also disappeared. Every time he’d look back at the memories of the angel he loved most, he only showed up with a blurry face, or his head would be replaced with something as absurd as a traffic cone. Although his memories looked like they lost its authenticity, he knew that what he experienced with him was real.

In an attempt to forget about Kuroo, he fucked around as a demon and tried to love fellow demons and humans. But his heart only desired Kuroo. And without him, he slowly went insane.

For Kuroo, on the other hand, he felt like he lost a big part of himself. As each day went by without Kenma, he felt emptier. Kenma was the only one he had—the person he’d share all his secrets with, the person he’d watch the sunset with, the person he’d slowly dance with under the millions of stars in the night sky. He trusted him more than he trusted Yaku and Kai. He was used to talking to him daily. He was too attached to him. He had a hard time letting go of him. After losing him, Kuroo had a hard time trusting and talking to anyone. He frequently shut everyone out and decided not to open up about his problems. He felt numb.

They still had hope, though, that one day, they’ll be able to run back to each other’s arms.

_Someday._

-

As crowned prince of sloth, of course Kenma had to take part in tempting humans to give in to sin and the pleasure of life. Even if he was too lazy to follow, he was scared of getting his ass whooped by Tsukishima or Kageyama.

As the demons set foot on Earth, Kenma did a pretty good job tempting people to sin. Through the means of streaming and playing with other gamers, he promoted a lazy lifestyle to his fans and fellow gamers. He’d encourage them that it’s okay to slack off sometimes, and to indulge in the pleasure of life, even if it goes against one’s morals.

He actually enjoyed his chosen mortal job. Gaming let him distract himself from worrying and thinking too much about Kuroo. But when news came up that they were going to deal with their counterpart angels, which meant that he was going to face Kuroo again, Kenma felt excited. He wouldn’t mind if he defeated him, but he’s having mixed thoughts about it. The thought of encountering the angel who he once loved and didn’t even come to save him angered him quite. He’d be willing to fight him because all these years, he felt alone and empty without him.

And when Kuroo set his foot on Earth as well, he was more than excited to see Kenma. He worked hard to search for him. He regularly watched his streams and supported him from afar, not wanting to face him just yet. He overthought, and cited what would happen if he saw him again, after thousands of years.

-

Kuroo’s eyes met Kenma’s after thousands of years in Akaashi’s established café located in South Korea—Sweet Seoul Café. He had figured out that Kenma frequently hung out there as he watched his streams. He felt nothing but delight when he saw that Kenma was safe and well. He was happy that Kenma wasn’t dead. Though, he was fully aware of the fact that Kenma had no memory of what he had looked like, which saddened him a bit. He thought of a way on how to approach him.

In Kenma’s eyes, however, Kuroo looked oddly familiar, or maybe he gave similar vibes as someone he knew before, but he couldn’t tell who he reminded him of. Out of curiosity, that maybe his name would ring a bell, Kenma was quick to walk towards him and ask what his name was.

Kuroo froze for a bit before he was quick to think of a name, “My name… My name is Lev… Lev Haiba.” Lying was a sin, he knew that, but he wanted to avoid an immediate fight between the two of them. He was scared that maybe Kenma would have killed him on the spot if he revealed who he was.

“Lev is too short and boring, I wanna call you Bedhead.” Kenma remarked.

Fuck, does he know? It’s the same nickname Kenma gave him as an angel.

Kenma wrote his number down on a piece of paper in hopes that he’ll get to spend time with him and, maybe, he’ll be able to figure out who he reminded him of. He handed it to Kuroo.

-

They hung out with each other often. Usually, Kenma would be too lazy to get up from bed, so Kuroo would come to his house and play video games with him, sometimes joining in his streams. Other times, they’d meet up in Akaashi’s café for a platonic date. Even if they were strangers, Kenma found it easy to open up to Kuroo because he simply felt so comfortable around him.

“You know, I used to love someone, and I think I still do. His name’s Tetsurou, by the way.” Kenma opened up.

 _It’s me. He’s talking about me._ Kuroo thought.

“Is he your ex, or what?”

“Don’t know, we had no label, but I loved him dearly and I know he did, too. I wasn't dumb to see all the subtle hints he showed me. He held my hand, kissed my tears away whenever I felt sad. He comforted me in every way possible. He felt like home. I miss all of those things. I miss him. It sucked that I was separated from him. But I bet he had already forgotten about me, replaced me with someone new. It's a complicated story, I don't think you'll believe it.”

Kuroo felt the urge to tell Kenma that he still loves him.

Kenma subconsciously blabbered about Kuroo every time they hung out, without realizing that he was talking about him to him.

-

With Kuroo, Kenma felt most at home. He radiated that comfortable, homey aura which made him want to snuggle in his arms forever, bask in his warmth, and enjoy his presence. It felt familiar, however, yet he couldn’t pinpoint the reason so he decided to brush it off, thinking that _maybe_ he simply reminded him of a demon or human that made him feel the same way. His relationships with the demons and humans he dated were useless to him, because truly, he only loved this one seraphim from the beginning of time—Kuroo. But he felt like this new human could replace that angel so easily.

Oh, little did he know.

Kuroo let his fingers dance on Kenma’s skin as the demon laid his head on his lap, eyes glued onto his gaming console, diligently and rapidly clicking on the buttons in an aggressive demeanor. He liked the way his skin felt so soft on his fingers—it’s almost like he was touching a pillow. He examined his face and observed the way Kenma was so passionate about winning the game, remembering how he was so passionate about winning against Hinata in doing the tasks given by God when they were both angels.

Guilt hit him, though, because he hasn’t revealed who he actually is to Kenma yet. He felt like he was manipulating him, but he was scared to hurt him once more, or worse, lose him completely, now that he was in his arms now. There were many possibilities, and Kuroo pondered about them all. He thought of the possible outcomes if he did this, or if he did that.

As Kenma’s game came to an end, Kuroo proceeded to play with his hair and massage his scalp and temples, relieving him of his stress. The former has his eyes closed, enjoying the way he’s feeling so relaxed and calm under Kuroo’s touch. To him, his touch was magical and comforting.

“Kenma, can I kiss you?” the angel stared at the demon’s lips. With a nod from Kenma, Kuroo leaned forward to connect his lips with his. An electric surge took over their bodies, startling them both with the memories they had with one another as supernatural beings. Scared, he was quick to pull away. He pushed Kenma away gently, and got off his seat. _Did I just fuck up?_ Kuroo asked himself.

Yet, Kenma was stunned. For about 5 seconds, all the memories he had with Kuroo as an angel replayed in his mind. They were simply quick glimpses of what they had done together and weren’t so detailed. He stood about two meters away from the angel, eyes boring into his deeply. Once he had finally composed himself, it didn’t take long for him to register what had happened and who Kuroo really was. He gasped loudly, hands quickly moving to cover his mouth seconds after doing so. He was in disbelief. He was in doubt. He felt like he was being lied to. He felt confused.

“K-Kuroo…” Kenma muttered in shock, suddenly unable to speak. His eyes are glued onto the floor, wide open. He didn’t know what to feel at that point. “You fucking lied to me and knew about me, all this time?!”

“Have you figured it out yet, Kozume Kenma?” Kuroo calmly asked, keeping his distance away from the demon. He watched Kenma break down in front of him. He was tempted to move closer and comfort him, but he knew how violent a demon like him could possibly get. He’s hurt by the sight, and he’s blaming himself again for all the misery Kenma had been through. But he didn’t know what he should do.

“A-Are you Kuroo?” Kenma’s voice was shaky at this point. His breath was getting heavier as his mind rewinded memories of the moment Kuroo let him fall into the abyss, vision nothing but darkness and the grotesque architecture of hell and its scorching flames. At the moment of his downfall, he felt betrayed, confused, empty, and lost. As he stood in front of the angel, weak and terribly shaking from rage, he felt as if this could be the perfect chance to unleash the actual demon inside of him, destroy and murder the angel that drove him to insanity. His eyes glowed light blue, his symbolic color, before a portion of his face transformed into his demonic form, and he laughed evilly before tears ran down his cheeks. He was being driven into insanity once more.

He looked at Kuroo straight into the eyes before letting out a demonic screech. “You lied to me again… How—How are you even an angel when you lie this much? I loved you, Kuroo, I really did! We promised something to each other, right? That we’ll never leave one another? Do you remember that? You said you were going to stay by my side forever, but you let me fall into my fucking despair! Darkness! Who’s the fucking traitor now? Tell me, you son of a fucking bitch! I despise you now, so fucking much! You fucking played with my feelings! I lie in bed every fucking night, crying myself to sleep because I can’t fucking stop thinking about how it would feel like to have you next to me! I wonder what would’ve happened if the happy ending we always fantasized about came true! I ask myself if you had forgotten all about me, if I was merely a toy to play with, if you had found someone else, if I’m _that_ easy to replace, and how much it would pain me to see you with someone else! I know—I know I should’ve moved on, after all these years, but I genuinely loved you and thought I would spend the rest of my days with you. It’s stupid—I’m still holding on to you, the memories we’ve made together, the apparent love we’d give to one another. I had hope that one day, you’ll come and save me, even if you know that you’ll disappoint God, but you never came. I thought to myself, how does this asshole fall asleep at night without thinking of me, knowing that he had hurt me, forgetting me so fucking easily? I had so much fucking thoughts and questions about you—about _us_ , Kuroo. No matter how many times I tell myself that I hate you, despise you—I still love you. The biggest lie I would say would be that I hate you. I tried forgetting about you, fooling around with other demons and humans but my heart is stubborn, refusing to let me love anyone else other than you! My heart will always belong to you, Kuroo! And I expected you to love me the same way I do because you said you will, but you didn’t! I waited for you. It’s foolish of me to love someone and keep them so dear to me, and close to my heart, when I’m nothing but just a toy to him! Do you see my pain now, Kuroo Tetsurou? Am I just a toy to you?! If you truly loved me, then why didn’t you come and pull me out of the shadows?! Why did you leave me alone to rot?! When you left me and I was banished into hell, I told myself that I’m unloved and I managed to convince myself that I truly don’t deserve to be loved! I wondered what I did wrong, if I lacked something, which made everyone turn their backs against me! You left me very confused, sad, angry—I had no idea what to feel! You never even defended me to God, our Creator! You never pleaded Him to forgive my sins, because, what, you’re a fucking coward? Bullshit! That’s you, am I wrong? You are nothing but a fucking coward! Did you follow me on Earth just so you could get my hopes up again, make me fall in love with you, then hurt and leave me again?! What joy do you find in fucking with my brain and emotions? That’s so fucking sadistic, Kuroo. If one thing’s for sure, it’s that I would die for you. I would do anything for you. I would sacrifice many things for you if that’s how much it would take for you to reciprocate my feelings. Hurt me as many times as you want, and I’ll forgive you over and over again. Use me if you want to, treat me like garbage—I won’t give a single fuck. That’s how much I love you.” his voice fainted at the end of his tirade, falling onto his knees as he cried on his palms.

Kuroo felt like utter shit when he realized how much he hurt Kenma.

“Kenma—”

“Keep my fucking name out of your goddamn mouth, will you?!” A light blue aura surrounded Kenma’s body. His black wings appeared. He grabbed the nearest fragile thing he could possibly hold onto and swung it in the air in an attempt to hit Kuroo’s head with it, yet the angel managed to stop his attack midway. One of his hands was on the vase and he crushed it completely in one go, the fragments hitting the floor with loud _tinkles_.

At this point, Kenma felt like giving up. He can’t possibly hurt the person he loved the most, right? No matter how much pain he had brought to him, he promised himself that he’d love him until the end. 

“I… I never stopped loving you, Kozume Kenma.” Kuroo pulled Kenma into a tight embrace, who kept pushing him away, but ended up giving in to the hug. He missed being like that with Kuroo. “I never stopped loving you, nor did I ever stop thinking about you. You’re the reason why I have not yet given up on this immortal life, I had hope that one day you’ll be able to return safely in my arms. I remembered the promise we made to each other, and I’m sorry for breaking it. Yes, I was scared. Yes, I was a coward. But I had pleaded multiple times to God to bring you back, yet he didn’t respond to my pleas. He only got mad even more. I attempted to make my way through the gates of hell once, but everything scared me so much—I backed out. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m so sorry if you felt like I abandoned you. I’m so sorry for leaving you confused. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner that I was Kuroo. I’m so sorry for lying. Truth be told, when I heard about facing you again, I immediately thought of reuniting once more with you, but I didn’t know how you’d feel about that. I thought that, maybe, you would be mad at me, maybe you would have already forgotten about me, replaced me with someone new, and of course I’d have to accept that, right? All I could ever do in that situation would be watch you from a distance, make sure you’re happy with that new someone. I would never want to hurt you, Kenma. I don’t want to hurt you intentionally nor would I want to hurt you unintentionally. You were never a toy in my eyes, my love, you’re a treasure that I found which I want to keep with me forever. I can’t, and will never let you go. There was never a day wherein I didn’t worry about you. I will never grow tired of loving you. You’re the only person I ever loved, Kenma. You’re the only one I have my eyes on. You’re my happiness. You’re my sunshine. You’re the reason why I want to wake up everyday. You’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my eternity with. I want to cherish every single day with you. I didn’t look for anyone else, because you’re the only one I want. And I love you so much, I really apologize for everything. I missed you so fucking much. I missed us. I missed talking to you every single day. I missed everything about you. Without you around, I felt very empty. I felt like I lost a very big part of me. Even Yaku and Kai were unable to help me.”

Kenma hugged Kuroo back and cried on his shoulder, whispering a small “I love you” to him before the feathers of his large, black wings, little by little, turned white again. Kenma is the first demon to have fallen, but he’s happy to be in Kuroo’s arms once again.

"Come home with me now, I'll keep you safe and sound." Kuroo muttered.

_“I’m so happy to be with you again, Kuroo. I don't think I could ever be mad at you, no matter how much I tell myself to.”_

And with that, Kuroo’s white wings fluttered open. He ascended to heaven with Kenma tightly clinging onto his arms. They’re happy to be reunited with each other again.

-

When Tsukishima saw that Kenma's light blue blood, which he kept in a small glass container, evaporated into the air, he realized that they should never have convinced him to join in planning for the rebellion from the beginning. There were stronger angels who could’ve fought with them, but Kenma was the easiest target.

Kenma did agree at first, and took part in the conspiracy and planning of the strategy, but he later gave up in order to stay with Kuroo. That was probably why he became a fallen angel.

“I should be mad.” He whispered to himself. He’s frustrated at the fact that, although he saw it coming, Kenma was so easy to lose and so weak around Kuroo. “But then again, Kenma undoubtedly loved Kuroo with all his heart.”

“Love is so fucking stupid. I thought he was smarter than this.” Out of frustration, he threw his chair to the floor and screamed his lungs out.

-

“Kuroo.” Kenma muttered in his sleep. His eyes slowly fluttered open, only to be greeted by the bright sunlight and Kuroo’s smiling face, who laid beside him.

“Kenma?” Kuroo’s eyes dilated and his ears perked up as he heard Kenma's voice. He felt joy rush to his brain. He’s excited to spend the day with him.

 _Ah, so it wasn’t all just a dream._ _I’m really back in his arms. I’m home._ The first thing Kenma did was smile at Kuroo before he stretched his arms above his head. He’s happy—very happy now that he’s with the person he loves the most. After thousands of years of longing for Kuroo, he had finally achieved his goal.

“Good morning, my angel. Did you sleep well? I cooked you breakfast.” Kuroo’s morning voice was music to his ears. He missed waking up next to him like this. Now that he was with him again, he smiled at the thought of spending forever with him.

“Angel, huh? I should be the one calling you that. I’m the demon right here.” He replied. “Does God know that I’m here?”

“I spent all night begging him to let you stay with me. I told him about how much I love you, compared my love for you to just as much as he loved Asherah. I caused a scene in front of the other angels. You’re not a demon now, Kenma. You’re freed from the restraints of hell. You’ll be safe with me now.” Kuroo pecked on Kenma’s lips. His arms snaked around Kenma’s waist, pulling him closer to him. “Will you give me the honor of spending my eternity with you, Kenma?” his hazel eyes bore deep into Kenma’s golden ones.

“Of course, I just want one thing.” Kenma propped himself up with his elbow and crawled on top of Kuroo. He straddled his hips, which prompted Kuroo to sit up against the headboard.

“H-Huh?” Kuroo’s cheeks burned at the thought of what could possibly happen next, but they were in heaven, they can’t possibly sin now, can they?

“I just want a kiss, dumbass. Get the dirty thoughts out of your head. You should be ashamed of yourself, you’re an angel and yet you’re thinking of sinning. Between us two, I’m the one allowed to sin.” Kenma placed his small hands on Kuroo’s nape and he leaned forward to press his lips against his. It started off as rough and aggressive. Kuroo was shocked at how wild Kenma had gotten. Kenma let out a soft moan when Kuroo started to kiss him back, hands traveling to Kenma’s blonde locks. He gently tugged on it as they continued their passionate lip locking. He liked the way Kenma’s lips were so soft against his, and the way he tasted like coffee.

 _God, forgive me for the sin I’m currently committing_. They both thought.

It felt like heaven. It felt like paradise. Their lips moved synchronously against one another, fighting for dominance. Kuroo softly nibbled on Kenma’s bottom lip, earning a mewl from him. It made Kuroo feel like he was ascending to a place greater than heaven. It felt so good. Kenma let himself melt into Kuroo’s touch, and the kiss gradually started to become softer. As they ran out of breath, Kuroo pulled away to plant soft kisses on Kenma’s neck, reiterating how much he loved him.

“I love you.” Kuroo whispered, pecking on Kenma’s lips.

_“I love you too, Bedhead. My big dork.”_


End file.
